![]() The bou-cake, £30, is available from Forever Green Flowers Body cast The 'bou-cake', as they call it, features Battenbergs, bakewells and fancies by the boat-, bucket- and effing truckload, so if you're not in their good books with this one, you might as well walk out the door and take your bou-cake with you! The confectionery kings have combined our two favourite things and fashioned a Valentine's Day bouquet to remember. But flowers with cake? No, this is not a dream from marzipan-land, this Mr Kipling creation is very real and utterly delicious. ![]() Sure, flowers on Valentine's Day are nice. Eating yourself… it's all getting a bit meta. Although, hang on, what is that large group of your friends doing here? And why do they all have shotguns? And why is everyone talking about wildfowling?Īnything you can eat that has your face on it. Gosh, how am I going to get home on the Tube without feeling like a twat?Ī romantic weekend away. Tied to cars, tied to chairs, sent in boxes to work. Knickers made of (this is not made up) beef jerky. Johnny Depp did this for Kate Moss in the Nineties and it was adorable and romantic - but that was ages ago and, really, how does it even work? You have to pay to get a piece of paper that says 'this star is now named Annabel', but which star and where is it**?** And it's not as good as a diamond that you can wear. Be a marvellous crotchless-knickers person on a regular basis, not once or twice a year, otherwise we're all going to start feeling awkward. Stockings, underwear, nipple tassels, vibrators, gimp masks, furry handcuffs, corsets, etc. Toys are for children, not adults.Īnything sexy.
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